December
I wrote this in December 2009. December is always a tough month but I'm eternally optimistic and have high hopes for the rest of my Decembers. Cheers!
December is all about loss. Grief. Mourning.
The loss of another year you can't get back.
The loss of a marriage. The family once part of. A life lived. Weekly birthdays now just dates on a calendar.
Loss of a friend two weeks after a birthday celebrated, not knowing it was the last.
Remembering all those who passed before brought to the forefront now.
Saying goodbye to a dear one who was always part of your life but it was her time to go, the passing bittersweet.
Discovering the sudden death of someone too young with whom you had hoped to re-connect.
One year anniversary of a five-year, stormy, passionate relationship's abrupt ending. Spending nine months wondering why before accepting the inevitable. Still feeling the emptiness.
Today the loss of a new beginning. Not meant to be.
Pulling into the garage, I close the door then pause before turning off the ignition. Remembering a previous owner who chose to leave this way, in this spot. I know why.
I will put up the tree, decorate it with tangible memories - ornaments procured far and near. Reminders of happy times, times of shared love, friendship and fun. Adventures.
I want a December to remember. Fondly. Maybe next year?
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